into the mists

in a blue forest of green
we found avalon
the mist lifted up and the lights were but
the stars yellow illuminated by the full
moon which lit up the sky and reflected our
sadness

we stood up
washed ourselves
in ashes
drenched in storms’ first rain

then ran

into the deadened night

we stormed through

demanding you home
we thought you heard us
understood us finally

but instead you refused ash
refused dirt
took clay.

and so we turned raised our
hands
breathed
still not drowning never that
but finally we have learned to
wave

sing a song for us
if you must

if we must
charge back in
to the mists.

 

hello home

hello home,

do you remember me?

 

butterfly heart

soul

moth

spirit

protector.

 

come into the bedroom at night

lights on

 

Flit about

refuse to leave or land.

 

teach me heartache

teach me to want joy.

the maddening remembers

the blasted oak
snow

a juliet
who wanted a romeo

but i am not his

just his tybalt

tap
wood

no signature?

i hate cursive

and the basement

Demon?
Angel?

No.

Remember

everyone dies

eventually.

sirens let the mermaids sleep please

remember the
dolphin

and the mermaids
as they sing

their siren song

did they truly
want the sailor

to crash
against
the cliffs

and yet here
we lay

pajamas on

but never done

not with sleep

and never done

the party never stops

not when you’ve
got life.

john the bastard

run down
to the basement

find him

john the bastard
in the bed

refusing to leave

mother shrieks

DEMON

you turn

look

think she is
pointing

at you

maybe if
you had paid

attention

you would have
heard

her heart
bleed

crying words

you never heard

seen in her
eyes

the word

CHERUB

yellow heart

borne a vessel

mouth stitched
if i had one

drain it
remove it

all

look back

somedays

we were four

the two eldest

Antoinette and Victor
Pestilence and War

What did they call
them?

and the two of us
Jason and Agnes

the youngest

Famine and Death

We called ourselves
Hunger.

spring come.

will they sing of us?

will they tell tales of us when i am gone? when you go? will the light ever guide you home? holi for me is every season every second moment… i wonder skeptic that i am in every way. i always fancied myself a realist stuck on reality and dreams that just were.

you give me hope inspiration. you always have wherever you go.

in the darkest night so long ago

i

someday maybe i can explain my side if things

even if you don’t remember or don’t want to hear it.

will they tell of us?

i wait wherever i am wherever i go

i look over love

i always have

you are my one and only

i often wondered what it meant that you were born before me and i came later…

did that mean you had someone else?

you are the man with blue eyes though i don’t remember their color anymore

my grey eyes

my storm

my

mine

and i don’t know what to do

if you leave if you never were mine

i

just know

the stars were not working right

i suppose

to me

they’ll guide me to you

anyway

in our own way

love

i don’t know what it means to not be chosen first

but yeah i know i’m lying

it’s just

how do i explain how much this difference hurts

how far will it take me from you?

no matter where or how far

i will always search for you

find you

and yours

and i will never demand for anyone to keep you safe

because that’s who i am

that’s what i do

in my own way

i try

i’m manifold

like everyone else

i’m kind

and i’m mean

etc.

(just know if it happens i don’t and didn’t ever want to go)

i have had many names

many

but look

i don’t care if i am considered joseph to your mary

or joe the liar to your you

i know and have always known

quietly

silently

sadly

that i am nothing

other than me

i am agnes

just agnes

(don’t worry it won’t always hurt will it?)

my heart love

it beats for you alone

ALWAYS.