Month: May 2021

Life 2.0


Something that occurs to me from time to time when I think of my life. I feel like I missed out on a certain kind of life, even though I know somehow that was never mine. Perhaps I left childhood far too early and unwillingly. I don’t believe in Fate or at least not as it is usually spoken of.  Yet sometimes I wonder about the universe and time. If there are other realities: Perhaps we were needed here. The one that burned was set afire. This one had to be like this so wrong yet it was like this and in the others? Even if we never see each other again and even if you never read this. Just here: this is our dead letter. I just hope you all find and keep that smile. Okay? Remember me kindly. Let’s all keep on keeping on.

Nightmare Men

i wake

screaming

and the nightmares

Nightmare Men

though long gone

live inside

me

now

i look

back

realize this

no matter

how hard

i try

i fight

the darkness

it lives

inside

poison

that is

what i

am

i destroy

every thing

every one

all that i touch

withers

and

eventually

you will

too

and i

have

long since

learned

silence

but that does not

change

what we are

poison

defined by

sin

our wicked

tongue

snake

they said

called us

the Dark One

we simply

looked back

what was there

to say?

all the rest

was true

so why not

that too?

creating universes

we created god

all of them

and when

it

came time

to kneel

we had gone

so far

gone

i hear

the screams

of those

who listened

who believed

i want to

reach out

speak

but remember

we were born

poison

and

i will protect

this

our sin

our salvation

i will walk

away

so that

the poison

in me

does not

become

yours

No regrets

you spoke

of so many

things

when

you were

young

spoke

of hope

of change

dreamt of

a place and time

you may never know

it was

a secret place

you spoke of it

to no one

but it was

your dream

your tide-through

if

nothing

else

if

no one

remembers

or

will ever

maybe

it’s

finally

fine

to simply

admit it

there was

no joe

i have

worn

many

masks

still do

what

difference

was one

more?

maybe

it was

always

me

simply

because

for all my

existentialism

i have never

doubted me

i have always

known who i am

and now

long after

mine

the ones–
you know who you are

(or at least i hope you do)

i’m still me

i still can’t be changed

so hi

my name’s agnes

or rather

as i prefer to say

i’m agnes

i’m poison

i’m sin

and maybe

it’s sad

and maybe

you’ll never

understand

or realize

it

or what i am

and always

have been

just promise

me one thing

try to find

that moment

that makes

you laugh

makes you happy

gives you that smile

and fight for it

no matter what

and here’s my last secret worth salt (probably)

who knows?

but seriously

No Regrets

i know i still don’t have any.

mother death (TAWS scrap)

mother death

she rode in

a good woman

a good doctor

a good death

mother

death

bring me 

to the garden

take my flower

protect her

even in the fires 

of hell

mother

death

angel

nothing more

than a puppet

God speaks

mother

death

angel

that you are

you obey

and God

he waits

and once you

have carried out his task

his every wish

he gives you

your gift

your prize

 he throws you

into the fiery pit

 into the depths of hell

where you will stay

 obedient servant that you are.

Joe dreams

The mini-prophet

whose tongue 

had become a snake’s

she is whole

again

she smiles

she dances

but most of all

she sees

Joe the Liar

he dreams

makes him

wonder

the difference

between

reality and not

if there is one?

makes him

think

there is

you see 

there is

a ball

growing

(it grows)

in his brain

in the front

of his brain

it grows

he closes

his eyes

the mini-prophet

closes hers

 and open 

theirs

to the universe.