Month: March 2018

if the last became first

the maddening

it was

with me

always

i was borne

with a dead bomb

inside my chest

they called it

a heart

it was made

of metal

all the elements

and i oft’

wondered if

i even had

a soul

i ran forwards

backwards

in between

forever

stuck in time

my maddening crowd

and i

ran through that

deadened night

shrieking

sorrow

pain

screaming

rage

shuddering at

that unknown

light.

i woke sweetened

died

burnt alive

shot

dead on delivery

they said

don’t you know

that madness?

the maddening crowd

would tear

shred

eat their love

alive

rot its

flesh

tear it

asunder

before they would

let me leave.

yet

here i sit

here i stand

alone

in the light.

the maddening

may be with me

always

i may dance

in the dark

the dead of night

in houses of mourning

and morn

or perhaps breathe

pray in it all

with them

but it seems

we…

the maddening crowd

cries out for blood

from its king

from me

but i have

no more

to give.

i want to

so the ship
sails down

past the horizon
down

drain it all
down

down down down

rising up

into love

lily

i want to
walk in the light
with you.

(i would not
mind if you saw
me dancing in
pajamas

singing
recklessly
with wild abandon

maybe you would join me too)

my baby huh

the vapor
bleeds into

my lungs
my heart

no crumbs
litter the
ground

today

i think of
the man
with blue eyes

think of him
always

drain it down

he is just like
rain
lightning
the very earth

the ground beneath
my feet

something i
often wish

i could worship

life huh

my baby.

let me think

let me think

back to those

days

 

before this

pain

consumed me

 

and my lily

stand tall

beside

our tree

 

in our forbidden

garden

 

in the

shining

sun

 

can i try it

now?

 

lily

 

i have poison

in my veins

 

this love

may forever

torment me

 

for all the

beautiful men

and women

 

i left

in the dust

 

for all those

glimpses

 

of that man

with blue eyes.