my love

pop in and out

tear the love

from me in a murmur.

music

i play music

try to distract

myself

from

my fears

my hurt

it jars

my thoughts

bringing me

constantly

back

to the present

i listen

to music

almost

constantly

to the point

it is a crutch

supporting

me

as i walk

alone

down

busy streets

as i sit

alone

silently

at home

the music

fuels

my breath

keeps me going

on days

when all else

seems

to fail.

one man alone

she looks
into her
crystal-ball

shade in
every vision

i roam
through
this earth

hear the fortune-tellers
moan
my fate

yet

yet

i do not
share their
melancholy

destined to love
one man alone

i can think
of far worse
than this.

the maze of life

and the maze
of life

seems unending

purge
the fear
away

drain it
down.

try
again
and again.

revive

i sit
pajamas still
on

my eyes burn
from unshed
tears

i pedal
my thoughts
back and forth

try to keep
the sorrow
from overtaking
me

revive my soul
with thoughts
of you.

thinking of love and God

the dead lift up

swing by

back again

you hear their voices

in the wind

they call

the crows

to lift

spread wings

come find me

dance 

swing down

drown out sorrow

sing

dance

jerk

back

fall forward

to a different point

no longer darkness

it is strange to look

forward

and see light

blinding light

not pitch black

just light

and know that you do not know

but that there is

someone there

and that

you love them

and they love you.

home

he makes me reason unreason out the door.

helps me breathe when laughing shrieks suffocate my lungs away.

he is my home.

she has a civil tongue

they call her death

she has a civil tongue

 

so the day

goes down

strangles the moon

buries the

standing king

 

she has no civil tongue

he laughs

 

the stranded king

 

i need to learn

to whisper

 

not softly

not quietly

 

i am borne of tongues.