Thoughts in the dark

In the dark of the night nightmares come

They visit me and make me question

Wonder at the goodness and strength

Of my heart

Tried by fire

I remind myself

Each night

Close my eyes

And give my safety

Up to that Greatness

Without

That has brought peace

To what seemed

The never ending turmoil

Of my soul

Convinced as I was

Of the surety

Of its eternal damnation

For no reason

Other than the constant

Devastations

I oft experience

Even now

The only difference

Is my understanding

Of faith

In the face of adversity

And knowing that each hit

Will not break me

For when I was made

I was forged in fire

In a thunderstorm

The spark which sets

Ablaze

Trees

When lightning strikes

And no amount of downpours

Of rain

Can set me out.

Love be damned.

And so I prepare myself for the giving up on dreams

On fairytales

This silence stirs my doubts and fears

Is this love simply a fable

That one day will be told

To keep the young and in love wary

Of promises seemingly never kept

Of love eternal

Being something akin to damnation

Rather than something beautiful and divine

Lightning Kiss

The lightning strike

A kiss from God

Given to the now burnt ashen tree

The rain pours down

A torrent

The clouds darken the sky

Masquerading as night

The sun nowhere to be seen

No light passing through

One must remind oneself

Of the promise of future rainbows

This is when I discover God

Most clearly

In moments like these

And I hold my hand out

Hoping to catch that lightning kiss

And know all that is and was

Light.

She dared

She dared to move

The music spoke to her in secret ways

Her eyes closed

Her hips

They moved

Her arms lifted up

As she dreamt of him

Before her

Dancing with her

In her mind

As she moved in circles

To the beat

Of defeat

Untitled, 08/09/2023

Oh, how we mourn the dead

But they are to be envied

Are they not

For this bitter twisted coil

We call life

No longer holds sway over they

They have escaped this cycle of endless toil

To be remembered

Yes

And never forgot

Scrap from 2019

sit at a cafe table next to an ice rink. failed feet. shaky legs. the chairs and tables for us. those who wait for the ones still on ice. or for the ones who never tried. at least i did not fall. clutching the railing. trying to find grace elegance on ice. only to shuffle back. demand shoes. solid ground. in place of frozen water. wonder at the beauty. the seemingly effortless flow of limbs from those who know to transport their bodies across the frozen land. envy. dream of finding my grace someday. close my eyes. dream.

Scrap from 2019

A silver globe

reflects

visages

people skating by

they seem

to float

fly

dance

upon the ice

holding hands

or alone

their reflections

converge

the sun shines

in

from the

roof

a beautiful dome

masking

a skylight

Life

Life, you say, is nothing short of a struggle

Each day somehow more difficult than the last

Each possibility seemingly leading to the same end

I speak of fate and journeys

Of expressed purposes and destinies

This life, I say, is one big adventure

You just need to know where to look

heaven

(from 2014)

painted grey. starry sky.. white blotches amidst darker grey.

a raised arm melting away into the world. outstretched palm melting into the grey.

black smoke billowing up in bursts of clouds.

frills of a dress

or possibly a shirt.

perhaps a bundled heap of a simple black garbage bag.

Is it a new fashion, Mardi Gras, or avant garde?

Whatever the case, her hair is

half-shorn, half-pompadour

and deathly white.