the start

and every lily
you are my lily
you will always be my lily

and i know what i am

a snake

but what is a lily
without his poison?

and i will protect you
all my life

even after that.

i will never give you up.


how long?

how long
till you let me go?


let me love

someone other than you…

but i cannot


how much?

how many times must i tear out this heart for you?

how long

how much

and i know no matter how long or how much i bleed

it will never be enough

i can never atone for what i have done

i can never atone
for trying to get over you.

after all

you are


and when that seemed to go
when it seemed to be taken away

you come back again
you always do

you smile and look at me
with your perfect smile
your smirking face

reminding me

of the cosmic joke

of me and you.

take this
take this heart.
it will be my eternal sacrifice to you

my god.

and was that where i went wrong

when we were children and played
boys don’t like flowers and they certainly don’t like being named after them
and i am sorry
but you have always been my lily
because i can’t touch anyone
i am poison
but if you already had poison in you
we could stay
we could be

and you say no
you don’t want to play

and i smile
i laugh

and i say i know
it’s not a game

and you say
i know
and i don’t want it

and i say
too bad
it’s yours
has been
will be


you never forgive forgave me
for that.

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