the start (full version)

and every lily
what?
you are my lily
you will always be my lily

and i know what i am

a snake

but what is a lily
without his poison?

and i will protect you
all my life
even after that.

i will never give you up.

lily

how long
till you let me go?

let me love
someone other than you

but i cannot

how many times must i tear out this heart for you?

how long
how much

and i know no matter how long or how much i bleed
it will never be enough

i can never atone for what i have done

i can never atone
for trying to get over you.

after all

you are
ALWAYS.

and when that seemed to go
when it seemed to be taken away

you come back again
you always do

you smile and look at me
with your perfect smile
your smirking face

reminding me
of the cosmic joke
of me and you.

Lillian
take this heart.
it will be my eternal sacrifice to you
my god.

and was that where i went wrong?

when we were children and played
boys don’t like flowers and they certainly don’t like being named after them
and i am sorry
but you have always been my lily

because i can’t touch anyone
i am poison
but if you already had poison in you
we could stay
we could be

and you say no
you don’t want to play
poison

and i smile
i laugh

and i say i know
it’s not a game

and you say
i know
and i don’t want it

and i say
too bad
it’s yours
has been
will be

ALWAYS.

you never forgive forgave me
for that.

Lillian
demands a sacrifice

he always does
whether he realizes that
or not

you tried to rectify
the mistake
you made
when you gave him
that card

Liliana of the Veil

he didn’t want
it

but he also said
no take backs

so what
were you
to do?

you called him
Lillian

but he saw
through

he always did

heard the words
you did not say

that you refused
to utter

lest they make
it
more reality
than it should
be

he heard

lily-of-the-valley

and he threw
it
back

venom
in his voice
in the sound
in his eyes
in his very
being
clear to the eye


he never cried
but you always
will imagine
him as the weeping
one

though you are
the crying bastard.

he imagined
perhaps
wedding bells
in the future

but you
saw
it
for what
it
was

you saw
the horrid
truth

of us.

you (me) and lily

we could
never
be.

we were
made
apart.

lily
set up there
somewhere
in clouds
in dreams

and i
alone
in the dirt

my love
may never die

but

Liliana demands a sacrifice

let this be
my sacrifice
never ending

take my heart
let it be
yours
always

how long must you have my heart?

sometimes
i imagine

Liliana whispers

ALWAYS.

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