searching

“I was searching all over for God, today… But found nothing!” Alex turned to me, after she said this, and laughed.

Such sad words, followed by such a contradictory response. Why were the words sad? It was not the lack of God which made them so, at least as I understood… It was the lack of something, all together, in her voice. The sentence seemed to me, at that moment as some sort of plea. For what? Someone. Just someone. And not what, but whom.

She looked at me with such sad eyes, yet laughed all the same. As if trying to hide herself from my piercing gaze. Then, “What? It’s not like I was expecting…” She turned away at this, muttering, “Anything different… this time.”

And what was I to say to that? Who were these words for? Me? Surely not. I was simply the substitute. She was using my ears, pretending they belonged to someone else. How selfish. She had put me in an awkward position, without any thought.

Yet, there I stood and listened.

Why? I don’t know.

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