To the broken ones like me

To the broken ones like me:

I am a multiple rape and molestation survivor.

I’d say I woke up thinking this but I’d be lying. I don’t sleep. No sleep again last night but still feeling hopeful… nothing will truly break me or mine. I can’t be broken beyond repair or recognition. There have been those who have tried and still do. They do not know what I do though. Something I realized the first time I was thrown into the closet and forced to kneel on the ground in the dark alone the door locked from the outside: I will always be me. I cannot be changed, no matter what they cannot destroy who I am, what I stand for and my voice will always carry through the din the clamor. I have always and will continue to stand up for those like me who have been beaten down told to sit down shut up that no one cares no one will ever care that your scars are yours alone and though the wounds are real you must forget forgive pretend like the atrocities never happened smile like you’ve never known pain suffering. Let me speak hear me and hopefully understand: it’s not on you. it’s on them. and if you’re broken and reading this just know I’m broken too. It won’t always be so.

You need not hide your wounds from the world. I know my attempts are feeble but I will never cease. I will always stand up for us in my own way. And you have your way. Never let anyone or anything change you. You are the universe in physical form. Infinity made finite. And all you have been through all you have seen: never let it be said that it can be erased that it can go unheard unseen. Stand up in your way. Keep on keeping on. I know I will and I hope we all someday somehow will have that: happiness without reservations and if not when the feeling comes I like to imagine that it will be that much more than anything or anyone that ever threw us down broke us bleeding left us for dead. I dream of light. Of a thought so bright that even the darkness cannot contain it. That light is you.

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